May 24, 2018 at 2:59 PM
“Why are you so downcast oh my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God for I shall praise Him, my salvation and my God.” Psalms 42:11 (English Standard Version)
“Who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults.” Psalms 19:12 (New International Version)
There is a part of me that is acting out today.
I woke up this morning and looked up a bicycle map to the Vipassana meditation center in Triebel, Germany nearest where I live in Berlin.
Later today I talked to someone at the gym where I work about the blog I’ve been secretly writing for years. I spelled out my book concept of a mindful approach to Christianity. He said his former employer at Random House Publishing might be interested.
Yesterday I looked up the word “Magdalene.” I had always thought it was a last name. It turns out it is term used for reformed prostitutes. Mary Magdalene had a job before she started following Jesus.
My family is visiting currently here in Germany from America. My Aunt Dorothy is with them. She certifies ministers into pastors. I really enjoyed talking with her. I got a lot of confirmation of my understanding of the current teachings in Christianity and which of my ideas are pushing the envelope. At some point though, she asked my what I do. I told her that I was a Personal Trainer. she said, “That’s nice…” and walked away and immediately felt like a liar.
Am I a Magdelene? Maybe that’s what’s coming. Personal training is something that I do to make money, because I’m too afraid to write for a living.
Here’s an affirmation against that fear:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (King James Version)
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” Jeremiah 29:11
Thoughts create things. Ideas have consequences. I like to define terms like faith, grace, humility, peace, love, trust, courage…
I guess I need courage to trust where God is leading me next.
“Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalms 103:1-5
